...age three is the best age to live in Disneyland

My first ever memory is the plane ride to California when I was two. We lived there until I went to kindergarden when I was five. I remember the three houses we stayed in, and my two pre-schools (I got moved from the first one for kind of being a bully. That’ll probably be a later “why”) and my mother driving and getting engaged when I was three and almost getting eaten by an ostrich on the ostrich farm down the street. Arguably, the best thing about living in California was living 15 minutes away from Disneyland. When you went to the park when you were little, I went to toontown. We would get year passes, and my driver’s permit reminds me of them. I’m a little bit bigger now. Hey, don’t laugh at me!

Here’s why it’s awesome to be a regular at Disneyland: (prepare yourself, I’m making a list)

1. the characters: I don't mean the crazy people around although believe me tourists are some of the funniest people in the world (this is also true of New York City. I don't understand how people can just stop and look straight up in the middle of a sidewalk.) But seriously, on rainy days Mickey and I would chill and watch TV. Aladdin knew me by name, and would greet me which made most of the other kids jealous. Susie mouse had a thing for my Dad (and to this day we don't know if it was a guy or girl playing mousie dear). And the first Snow White who went of to Disney Tokyo took a picture of me. So yeah. I was tight with princesses as a little kid.

2. You get to be right a lot: especially as a three year old, it's pretty fun when a family is fighting over getting around the park, and you walk over and point someting out, and they don't believe, and you see them in the same place arguing about an hour later. Also there was some girl who was waiting on line and stuck her head through the bars of the divider even though I said it was a bad idea. I got a pretty good I-told-you-so when the fire department was trying to get her face out.

3. It totally toughens you up: like you can't have a fear of crowds. And nothing scares you after you've been on the snow white and pinochio and jungle safari rides as a two year old a couple times. Also, I learned not to play on the ropes that create the lines because I was swinging on one and flipped over, so I'd like to say I'm a little more careful with those now. And you get lost once and a while and it's okay. You don't panic anymore. You can't be scared of any strangers or anything because everyone in the freaking park you live in you don't know. I don't fear creepers because you'd think disney was crawling with them, but I never once felt endangered. I also almost got my teeth knocked out on the roger rabbit ride.

4. You get extensive disney knowledge: I have an audition for Beauty and the Beast friday and I know pretty much every word because the show went up in Disneyland before broadway. I can sing the small world song on a loop just to torture someone. And I know every character ever, and like every movie, and can own you in any disney trivia.


So moral of the story, if you are ages 3-5 please move to Disneyland. Also, I suggest you stop reading this blog.