...reverse ruined my life.

I skipped school today to go take my road test. After some driving around construction I got there. The girl on line in front of me failed to signal and almost crashed into another car and passed.

I was parked at the sign on the right side of the road at about 20 feet from a stop light. The woman told me to "turn left at the light whenever you're ready." I checked my mirrors and backed up as to not fly across the lanes because the light it read.

So she says "Stop the car, that was an automatic fail."

I don't think she knew that with that sentence, she destroyed my life.

My dad's in the hospital, my mom can't drive. I've never been grounded...as punishment. My next road test is fucking June 1st. I don't leave the house for about two weeks.

I have too much to do for this. Now I can't go see my campies. It eliminated all freedom. I have to now catch rides to rehearsal with the grandma who hates me, further indebting me to her so she can use it against me.

I cry only once a year. This year it came early.

what a tone for the week.

...my grade sucks.

Once upon a time there was this honor roll girl I know who pretty much failed her AP chem midterm. And by pretty much, she means did. Anyway, when her mid-quarter interm report came, she was getting a B, so she was like, okay fine.

And then her report card came with a D+. She kind of figured it was not true (there have been mistakes on her report card before) mostly because it's pretty impossible to slip down two letter grades while showing up to class and doing all your work. Plus he would have told me or something.

So she goes into class and goes to her teacher "What's up with the D?" and he's like
"What D?" So we look at my grade, and he's like "Oh yeah, that's because you failed the midterm, you would have gotten a B- or something." So I asked him why the interm report had a B and he said it was because it was factored in. SO I made him pinkie promise he'd tell me if I was getting below a B.

In other news, when I asked my AP Music Theory teacher who doesn't really like me why I got a C+, he said "I don't know, there weren't a lot of grades."

so teachers suck.

the end.

...I probably won't get to this so much.

So basically junior year is my hitman. like in the next two and a half weeks I have: a screening of my little sister's movie at tribecca, work, ushering my mom's show, a major final composition for AP music theory due, an SAT class, my road test, a columbia visit, a benefit concert, the SAT, 10 rehearsals (not including two I'll miss), hell week, a show, the Music Theory AP (which is on my 17th birthday), and the Chem AP.

FML.

So there is a legitimate list of future topics in my phone (along with my to do list and subway directions to tribecca and columbia), so future posts will be everything on why I think krespe kreme is so fucking good to how the Jew Crew is malignant. Tonight might be a double post.

so sorry if I'm not here all the time. I happen to be everywhere else.

...I didn't change the background on my phone.

I have a friend. Actually, that's a lie. I don't have that friend anymore. See how complicated he's already being? He's like that. Carmen and I became best friends with him in Olim. Like best friends. Wallowing in how much our lives sucked but surviving it together best friends. Med call buddies.

That year, mostly, we called each other all the time. Carmen and I three way assaulted him, pretty much. Car and I are so similar that we end up saying the same things.

One day I went to visit him and we roamed around central park. There was this little path we walked down that no one else was on, and the light hit the path just right and took a picture of it. It was my background on my phone.

He had problems. We had problems, but he was worse at dealing with them, I guess.

Damn he's hard to explain.

Occasionally he'd be a dick. I'd call that one Camlemagne (a play off Charlemagne) but then he'd be Cameron again. And we'd love him again.

I can remember the last time we were friends. He hopped a train to me and then we went to Autumn's play. It was amazing, just how comfortable it was. I loved him being my best friend.

then we went to Israel, and Cameron was gone. Camlemagne was the only thing there. He was...worse than I can describe.

Soon after I got home, my phone spazzed and I got a new one, and the only picture I had for the background was a black and white one of the path.

He hates me. He tells me so every time I tried to talk to him. He tells me how awful I am, and it doesn't take a psychologist to get he's projecting. He treats Carmen like crap too.

Yesterday, there was a giant bag of gummy bears on my desk in AP chem. I took a picture of it and accidentally set it as my background picture.I don't know if it was some grand metaphor for finally letting him go.

but I couldn't do it. I changed it back.

I promised I'd never give up on him...

?