...bullies actually do suck.

I have an unusual relationship with bullying. When I was small and went to a pre school where they pretty much let everyone do whatever (which is fine for like teenaged Jew hippies, not exactly for 3 year olds) But so there was this roving gang of five year old bullies, and naturally as I was super girl, decided someone needed to save the day. So that someone was me. So every time they attacked someone, I, a small three year old, would kick all of their asses. Which apparently was quite a sight.

Even when I was little, I was the type that everyone knew. So naturally, being in the "public eye", I was liked, and not so liked. (still kind of rings true) When someone made fun of me, I stood up for myself. For example: One day a girl we'll rename is Gertrude told me my hat looked retarded. So, being raised on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I drop kicked her.

When I was little, there was this boy that would pull my pigtails and be kind of rude (more on that and my fleeting flirt with popularity next post) and would tell me I was a terrible singer. Mostly I'd out talk him.

But so today someone in my class was humming, and my teacher (who I like but is at least all over the place and at most bi polar) was making fun of the kid he assumed was humming. So tired of him making fun of people, even though it wasn't me, I told my teacher to play nice. He said "What?" and I said "You're a bully." "What?" "Were you a bully in middle school?" He proceeds to tell me that he stood up for kids who were bullied in middle school. So I asked why he was making fun of that kid. He said he wanted to know where the whistling was coming from. I replied I doubted he was concerned for the welfare of the kid who was whistling.

At which point the kid that used to make fun of me goes "I think [insert whatever name you think would suite me here] needs a time out." I told him I think he needed to shut up. Gertrude proceeds to tell my teacher that she had been fat and bullied in elementary school. WHICH WAS A LIE. She made fun of me repeatedly until I drop kicked up, and she was not fat she was (and still is) freakishly tall.

So then the kid that used to make fun of me says something snide about me under his breath. So I asked if he was six (though he might have been smarter back then). My teacher thought I was talking to him, and although I made sure "we cool" I don't want my B to go away.

So bullies better watch out, because I do not like you. And Imma kick your ass.